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Laughable, amateurish and a genuine insult to actual Scottish vanners.

Valentine’s Packages. FOR HIM- Burger, chips, box of fireworks, bottle of lawnmower oil, bottle of my own brand cologne AU CONTRAIRE (also works in lawnmower) FOR HER- Burger, Chips, quarter bottle gin, bag of carpet samples, framed photo of any part of my body within reason £8

Thinking of Mum today A flawed but talented woman and genuine star of the “dog eat dog” world of Broughty Ferry Amateur Dramatics. Folk still stop me in the street to discuss her Fagin, often negatively (the ad libs were deeply offensive) but by Christ she made a mark #MothersDay

Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing. I wanted to express my apologies for any confusion the photograph I shared yesterday caused. I hope everyone celebrating had a very happy Mother’s Day. B

Friends. If you missed out on the Best of Bob Servant book in December, with all proceeds going to the Dundee Bairns , the charity are selling the very last copies directly. Wonderful gifts for birthdays, anniversaries and incarcerated relatives. More info here...

Guilt in the New York Times. Amazing.

Bob Servant: ‘I blame myself for the fall of the Berlin Wall’ (thetimes.com)

A genuinely productive working breakfast with Steve Clarke in Munich this morning. We disagree on the key issue - I believe I should cater the lads lunch today and he believes, extremely strongly, that I shouldn’t - but we agreed there is more that unites us than divides us 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I tried

Saddened to see the “anyone but England” attitude of some of my fellow Scots tonight. And as someone with a genuine affinity with Serbia, having seriously considered holidaying there in ‘93, I find it a little patronising to myself and my Serbian amigos on our big day 🇷🇸

Saddened to see “anyone but England” attitude of fellow Scots today.Particularly as someone with genuine affinity to Denmark (I nearly bought a pair of china dogs at a Carnoustie jumble sale in '93 that the vendor believed were "in all probability" from Denmark or Linlithgow)🇩🇰🐕

Just voted. Turnout low and polling station staffed entirely by bewildered primary school children. Make of that what you will.

Saddened to see the “anyone but England” attitude of some of my fellow Scots today. Some of the stuff I've seen nearly made me choke on my paella.

Welcome to the Thunderdome. Tell your Mums you'll not be home for tea. Big boy game, big boy rules. If you come for the King, you'd better not miss.

Never forget.

A message to all young athletes. I didn't play my first game of carpet bowls until I was 52. At 56, I won my first match. At 58, I lost my bowls in a backstreet game of cribbage. At 62, I met a fun-loving divorcee who owns (outright) a "ride on" mower. Never, ever, ever give up.

10 years ago I was the 8th busiest burger van in Dundee. After a decade of work, listening to the punters, menu experimentation, spatula practice, meditation, positive mental attitude (PMA), fearless self-reflection, daring to dream, and two deaths, I am up to 6th. Never give up

RIP to my old pal Jimmy Carter. I was lucky enough to meet Jimmy at a roller disco in Arbroath in 1941. He was wearing a pair of denim shorts that caused a rubbernecking divorcee to banjo herself against a pillar and I’ve kept a keen eye on his career ever since.

Stand back Superman, Ice Man, Spiderman, Batman and Robin too, Don't wanna cause a ruckus but BA Baracus have I got a match for you! She makes them look like a bunch of fairies She's got more bottle than United Dairies Hang about! Look out! For Super Gran! Robert Burns 1759-1796

Legends. With an incredible cast. Coming (not that) soon.