New get rich quick scheme... just start Venmo requesting people a million dollars.

Does 6th grade patrol guard go on the resume?

Just got stung by a jellyfish, who trying to piss on me?

Is your child using communist code? SIMP: Seize the Means of Production

Wearing jeans to bed just to feel something.

Trust me... everyone wants to see your Spotify Wrapped.

The first person to hear a parrot speak probably lost their shit.

You look like you wore a Cookie Monster snapback in middle school.

Disney World’s “It’s a small world” but they play WAP instead.

AJR walked so all throuples could run.

Flo Rida is so good they named a state after him.

The only way I’ll accept my stimmy is if Biden makes it rain singles on me.

You think Abe Lincoln wore the hat during sex?

Can’t believe Jeff Bezos bought a whole rainforest in South America.

Crossed off that Pfizer and Moderna.

Just got my first dose... didn’t know Fauci himself spits it into your mouth.

Cardi B is short for Cardinal Bishop.

Be sure to tip your landlord 20%.

Sorry I can’t come into work today I’m too busy writing fan fic about getting railed by the property brothers.

Fill your car with diesel. It’s cheaper and then invest the money you would’ve spent on regular in crypto. #ceomentality