(Late-running) White van window view of the day: vintage roadside sign, A61 near Ripon. North Yorkshire County Council replaced North Riding County Council in 1974, so 50+ years old. #WVWV #sign #vintage

(Late night) white van window view of the day: St Michael's church, Coxwold. It's been a bluddy long 'un... #WVWV

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever...

White van window view of the day: a #Harrogate corner. #WVWV #trees #architecture

I am in Skipton, so it would have been rude not to treat myself to a Stanforth's pork pie for a little snap time treat. However, at 12.05 the shelves had been stripped bare. So here's Plan B from the always excellent Westmorland Street Fisheries...

Ah, lectures on state-approved thoughts and behaviour for white working-class boys. Because they'll be the easy targets once cries of "racism" or "islamophobia" or "respect their culture" frighten teachers away from tackling black or brown boys. How splendidly North Korean.

Yvette, love: you and many in your party can't even define what a woman so bleedin' obviously is, so spare us this tripe, thanks.

The Christmas bread is done. #tradition #homemade #realbread

Followed by another seasonal staple: the pickled onion-testing fish & chips. Held over from the usual last Friday before Christmas. Passed with flying colours (as did the accompanying Ossett Brewery beverage). #Christmas #tradition #fishandchips

Daggers is right. For the first time in 50 years of following cricket, this has turned me against the England team, and I'm hoping they get stuffed 5-0. Whether it would be enough to cut through their delusions and arrogance is another matter.

Christmas Eve tradition No.1: Ms Bloke receives early-morning dispatch from cousin Joanne in the Dawson's of Brayton pork pie queue. "7.25am, back in car with six growlers. Going back to bed."

Christmas Eve tradition No.2: with final meat and veg safely gathered in from Cas Market, it's off to York with TransPennine Express plus a little treat en route. And as the Asda queues are now likely reaching fisticuffs levels, I'll allow myself a moment of smugness if that's OK...

Ladies and gentlemen. It may not yet look much, but by tomorrow morning this will be one of the finest treats to the tastebuds yet devised by human hands: half a pound of pork dripping. 😋 #Christmas #tradition #homemade

And so, with the dripping setting nicely in the fridge and a hot roast pork sandwich settling nicely in my stomach, I'm enlisting some weirdly Victorian assistance in wishing all my Twitter pals a cracking* good Christmas. * Or, indeed, crackling...

Long years ago, a message was proclaimed, and the people did listen in awe. And today, the people still long to receive it each year, for the joy it doth bring them. So hear ye once again the Word of Nod: IIIIIT'S CHRIIIIISTMAAAAAS!

Just come home now, please. Save yourselves and test match cricket from any more embarrassment.

Whitby. It's bluddy cold - but the Brew York Fairytale of Brew York walnut whip stout is a nice cockle-warmer.

And she'll still affect hurt and incredulity when her constituents (and I'll take great delight in being one of them) give her a size 16 boot up the arse at the next election. Utterly f***ing useless.

Winter afternoon stroll along the Calder and Aire, Castleford.

The new year bread. I can feel a points deduction coming on for size inconsistency with the hand-shaped rolls, but I'm pleased with my six scufflers. #realbread #tradition #homemade