I thought the truth mattered to everybody else as much as it matters to me but I forgot the important part: hatred has no logic and it obeys no rules.

I have at least temporary access and I’m going to ship your stuff with my new PO Box. After that I will be in Patreon for real.

There’s a lot of cruel people in the world and many of them are close to me. My bad for that.

René Brooks | Black Girl, Lost Keys ohh this is one of my worst fears 😭 i had to change doctor's surgery bc my high school emotionally abusive 'best friend' is the receptionist ;;;
Sending hugs 💕

I regained control of social as you know. Took until today to access bank accounts and open a PO Box so I can reissue postage so people will stop with the chargebacks.

BTW anyone who DID issue a chargeback will never be able to purchase from me again. Too risky.

In order to change behavior or improve anything in your life you have to learn to release old thought patterns.
We can focus so much on adding this or adding that...
a hack, a strategy.
Start by noticing thoughts that hold you back and practice holding them a little less tightly.

What are you holding on to?
A grudge?
Shame?
A belief?
Fear?
ADHD makes it really hard to let go of a thought or feeling because letting go is a part of the executive function system in the brain, just like disengaging from a really interesting activity is hard.
But it's possible

Now I’m going back to regular old updates and business as usual.

It’s funny, I’m calm because racism and childhood abuse and verbal abuse. Then nobody believes me because I’m not upset enough. Which I am but cannot show because: racism and childhood abuse and verbal abuse.

So like penalized for PTSD? Meh.

this has already happened on many occasions throughout my life but despite how much effort i’ve put into studying social interactions i still miss a lot of cues and usually it’s around someone befriending me for the wrong reasons

not because they actually want to be friends but because they see me as a way to further their own personal gains or use me as a scapegoat when they’re trying to get back at someone