I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial of its own. Here is the first page.

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I'm one more news story away from cutting my own bangs. Again.

I don’t know bout you but I could really use an old-fashioned high school boyfriend mix CD right now. I think that would help.

We could’ve had Elizabeth Warren but instead we have two old white men talking over one another, calling the coronavirus SARS or Ebola.

After this is over I’m gonna kiss you all on mouth. Every time. Don’t doubt me.

The president is calling out the American military against American citizens. He used the military to push out a peaceful protest so he could have a photo op at a church. It's all just a reality TV show for this president. Shameful.

Archbishop Wilton Gregory: “I find it baffling and reprehensible that any Catholic facility would allow itself to be so egregiously misused and manipulated in a fashion that violates our religious principles.” americamagazine.org/politics-socie… via America Magazine

The Administration at The Boston Conservatory at Berklee.: Remove Chris Caggiano from The Boston Conservatory at Berklee. - Sign the Petition! chng.it/yPsp6YRp via Change.org

If I call you and ask to “vent for a min” I’m 100% calling you to talk some shit.

(2) we have been told our claim in MD is invalid because we have unemployment owed to us in NY from other jobs. HOWEVER both MD and your office have told us you are "on it" and then we hear nothing. For months. NYS Department of Labor This is unacceptable. Call me. 703.582.4552.

Legalizing marijuana...giving everyone the vaccine...Archive: Governor Andrew Cuomo acting like a boyfriend who cheated and is hoping I won't notice because, gifts.

Thanks for letting me talk and feel feelings. I miss my job. 💙

When I have trouble falling asleep I think about warm garlic bread.

This was the MOST fun podcast to be a guest on! anchor.fm/connerandsmith… give The Conner & Smith Show a like/follow/review wherever you listen to your pods!

A Donut Never Hurt Nobody avocadosareforrichpeople.com/blog/2018/3/3/…

My President. x.com/barackobama/st…

Everything in the news is back to being… instagram.com/p/BjDZnGRjzkA/…