There's something mesmerizing about the world when you're sleep deprived but stay up to bask in the hypnotic lull. Too drunk to fuck or jack off, but just cognizant enough to keep your car from swerving so you can drop your kid off in one piece to his mom who has majority custody

I didn't fumble her, it was a faux pas. Ephemeral. Love isn't American football, it's more like GeoGuessr. Man can overcome any distance by relying on the compass of his qualia to be reacquainted with her geometry. The Greeks nor the French have any concept of "restraining order"

She fuckin Mr Game-and-Watch up

I saw two crackwhores ashing their cigarettes on a junkie's open forearm wound as they all sat on the sidewalk. A lesbian barista who works at a vegan cafe nearby came past and told them they shouldn't do that and the man went Jimmy Neutron Reddit-mode responding condescendingly

Silence is moving, quietude exudes innumerable, taunting until I protrude, longing to rendezvous with the murky infernal lurking under your short skirt. You're a hell of a waitress for putting up with all these drunk assholes, I'm leaving this jar of nickels on the table for you

I was out on a stroll after brunch with an Italian girl when a soccer ball rolled across the street directly to me. I deftly trap it under the sole of my Skechers and see a little ginger boy squinting at me from where it rolled with a pleading glint in his eyes, as if half of him

“I then have a mild moment of psychosis as I look at my own arm and see I am nearly as brown as she is”

The whole "eating pussy gives you throat cancer" is a psyop. It is vegetable glycerin in vapes weakening men's natural immunity to noxious pussy fluids. You can lick clitoris like it owes you money so long as you smoke a few Marlboros after to smother any potential contaminants.

The attention economy is real, it's essential to mindfully curate what content you see. I've painstakingly optimized my feed over the past decade, adjusting as I evolve & as culture shifts. Now I only follow men who are in the top 2% of their field, or women who are at least a 6.

My parents didn't hear me speak until I was 4. The way my family spoke to each other was argumentative or critical and I didn't want any part of it. I gave in and said "Would you just relax?" when I heard them deliberating about taking me to a specialist. All downhill from there.

just relapsed in my grandma's garage

Don't call them foids, bro, it diminishes the intricacies of their shortcomings. For instance, I call menopausal crackwhores "speedbags", and my vindictive ex-fiancee who's taking me to court "my one true muse".

Catnap Dogma i love starting out reading only the first and last sentence to get a sense of the level of unhinged, never disappoints

For over a year I thought I was a father, and an absent deadbeat one at that. My dad kicked me out when he heard I knocked a girl up, thinking it was the tough love I needed to learn to provide for not only myself but others, though it seems to have had the opposite effect. I

Never break more than one law at once. Only be a danger to yourself or to others, never both simultaneously. My pharmacist said it's fine to mix Xanax and Adderall. I need them both in order to focus on driving for uber without being self conscious about my car smelling like beer

The last text I got from my ex was a long-winded heartfelt plea saying she'd set aside all I put her through in order to "get me the help I need" & I accused her of using ChatGPT. Next day all I ate was pizza crust my roommate left in the trash. I don't trust women who read Hegel