this is my first cinco de mayo not at the times sq margaritaville since it opened ):

little lando norris not so little anymore!!!!!!!!!!! what a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A two part story

hello ?

i need to be taken out back and taken care of old yeller style

Men don’t drunk text like they used to. Where are all my drunk texts?!

i swear i have the only bengal cat terrified of the outdoors what a fuckin loser

goose son or phish daughter?

about to make my first every tiktok shop purchase for my future boyfriend

that bartender is your soulmate btw

i missed a killer PSN show last night i have never wanted to be in missouri more

my plans for the night were derailed and now it’s:

- drink a dozen gin and tonic
- talk to ZERO men

i completely forgot that i won a radio contest for two free trips and now i have to go on them by august lmao does anyone want to go to vegas with me next month 💯

i cannot believe my frontal lobe is fully developed. like this is it for the rest of my life lol i’m so fucked.

would you rather be in love with me or kill yourself? you can’t say neither

one miller light away from anarchy

happy stolen gin concert night to all who celebrate

objectively hilarious text to wake up to