Keep score: 1. Epstein files will be released =LIE 2. Ukraine/Russia war ended on day 1 =LIE 3. 90 deals in 90 days =LIE 4. Israeli hostages all returned =LIE 5. I will not start wars =LIE 6. We will only expel the "bad people" =LIE 7. Prices will be down =LIE 8. Factories will

Now do Spain

He's slowly but steadily turning into jabba the hutt

Thank you, Private Eye Magazine

What no-one is saying on #BBCBreakfast is that when we were in the EU, we could return asylum seekers to the first EU country they had arrived in. With Brexit, Britain lost that right.

“I’ve recently been diagnosed with autism.”

UEFA allowed Manchester City and Girona to play in the same competition. They allowed Salzburg and Leipzig to play in the same competition. And yet, even with John Textor out of OL, they won’t allow Lyon and Palace to compete together in the same competition. Make it make sense.

Just a couple of points on the data breach and injunction. Labour didn’t preside over the breach - that was 2022. Labour didn’t impose the injunction - that was 2023. Labour didn’t appeal the court’s decision to lift it - that was May 2024. Labour reviewed it and had it lifted.

"Badenoch only learned about Afghan data leak on Monday - because she missed security briefing in March, No 10 says." Brutal, just brutal.

Tice screaming about Afghans coming in to the country who were on the list that was leaked Seems his identical twin had a different view in 2021 when he didn't have a cult to incite

Bananas are absolute bastards

One element of the political policing intimidation attempt is over. We played a historic set at Glastonbury. Whole area closed an hour before due to crowds. A celebration of love and solidarity. A sea of good people at the world's most famous festival. Shortly afterwards we

Moms 🧵 1.

“Men, for 58 years: football's coming home, it's coming home Women: oh for god's sake I'll get it myself”

I’m so glad as a generation we all agreed to stop ironing our clothes

Not to be that guy…… but if Woakes had came out in the first innings, would we have got those 6 extra runs? 👀 😂😂😂😂😂

The ultimate route one 😅 Who remembers when Rickie Lambert did this against MK Dons? 5 days ⏳