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First tweet in years: Jeff Bezos recently declared Worlds Richest Man, but he didn't get to cuddle my boy giving him a bottle just now.

"What've you been uptown for the last two and a half years?" New kid New house New job Some horrific attitude. #ComeAtMeBro

Felt cute, might re-delete later.

Well, this is exciting....

"My mind was telling me (set your alarm because you really ought to be up by) five, But my body, my body's telling me (you're getting up, late, at) six!".

That simple. instagram.com/p/B1PD52fgIDm/…

Turning this shit back off. For good. Bye. Zzzzz

Watching A.N.Other Benefits show. Asked 5y/o "You gonna have a job when you're older?". "No, I'm just gonna get my watergun and squirt you."

Wanna win this? Found these from my boxing days, LIKE AND RETWEET for a chance to win, winner anounced 15/08 👊🏻 #80s

Couldn't live in the countryside, me. I'm from Burnley - I'd miss waking up to the distant Police sirens and that.

@MarcMarchatton You absolutely soaking wet person!

Reckon I'd be top at darts.... being fat and having a penchant for shite shirts.

One of the best combos I've ever seen. x.com/Onnit/status/7…

Sexiest tweet of the day goes to this: "Just located, and burst, a spot the size of a nipple on my hip.". - Me, now. Soz.

Crimewatch really does open your eyes to how many despicable and cruel people there are in Britain. Nothing worse than a grass

Shannon Briggs let's go champ Hahahaha instagram.com/p/BKSsL1Hh_Wi/

It might be half ten on a school night, but I fancy a pint.

Slender 17-year old in the gym on his own. Kudos on the effort - third night on the bounce. No need for his "Yeah buddy!" yells each time.

Don't tweet much, but felt this worthy of address: THE fight for GSP is Anderson Silva - it's that simple. #UFC UFC danawhite