Those Skywalkers sure do cause a lot of problems for people

Palmers hurts…

Stop shooting fireworks into the air! Shoot them at cop cars instead!

I FUCKING HATE when my cat judges me because I came up with a bad song for him

AI needs to be abolished if for no other reason besides not having to hear your coworker listen to it on full blast from their phone in the break room about a fisherman cheating on his wife with intermittent small baby laughs

One thing I love to do is comment of Jersey Mikes tiktok is that they don’t know how to clean their grills

Once chased a whale around the ocean because it took my leg. The journey, and my quest for revenge, would cost me everything else

That one egg was 40 eggs???

I’ve officially been to Iowa

Question for my fellow union members: When was the last time you attended a union meeting?

I’m in Altoona, Iowa

We all need to bow down and worship the Prince of Fucking Darkness today. I know he’s resting peacefully in hell now

Fun things I have planned today: - make a fruit bowl - think of fun recipes to cook for when it’s not hot out anymore - play animal crossing - walk a picket line with vertical endeavors union members

I instantly assign anyone with a blue check as a bot

Was at bar earlier tonight and saw that the walking dead was still making new shows and nothing could more describe that show better than literal zombie. Perhaps a zombie beating a dead horse

Hey what have y’all been listening to this week??

Sad to admit but drunk cigs do actually count

Always wanted one of these. I could steal it so easily…

Gearing up for a catastrophically bad season next year