“I want a dome so we can host a Super Bowl fam” Yeah. A game you can’t afford to attend. And we’d probably end up with some mutt game like Bengals vs Buccaneers that year. Shut up nerds

on a trip to san francisco i went to a dive bar bc Anthony Bourdain went to it on one of his shows, picked up the bartender & ended up dating him for 2 years long-distance

hanging out in M lot covers all 40

hell on earth, throw this weather in the trash

gross, no

my family has had season tickets since the late 80s & many of my first games were in the 700 level at the Vet. since i took over the seats, i am undefeated at NFC championship games (they should’ve let me go in 2003 & 2004 tbh)

everyone please clap for me not only putting my laundry away, but also for how i Marie Kondo’d my shit so all my new Eagles Super Bowl shirts that have been waiting for a home since Feb would fit in one drawer with my others 🥰💚

i missed adding my commentary about this over the weekend & i need to say it now: her shoes are so fucking ugly

he’s unhinged. absolute psychopath. (complimentary)

you and your first horror movie (and this is why horror movies don’t scare me; my parents let me watch this when i was like 5 😭)

having to deal with your period twice in the same month should result in some kind of financial compensation or something

did Hard Rock Cafe cater?

you don’t follow me & yet you’re in my mentions saying this lol

in case anyone was wondering, i can confirm the soundtrack from The OC remains elite

i went all day thinking it was thursday

yup i lost it, sorry to confirm but the rumors are now true

missed the 6 month anniversary of this tweet by one day but here it is again anyway