Things are improving each day (apart from contracting an infection) but despite my pain I managed to join in the ward ‘bake off’ for charity!

My section 3 (6 months) expired yesterday, unfortunately it has been renewed for a further 6 months. On a positive note though, my specialist BPD/EUPD MDT & consultant agreed with me that I *don’t* have the disorder so my primary diagnosis is being changed to depression/PTSD!

‘Christmas party’ on the ward. These heroes have even bought me some non-alcoholic beers! 😍🎁🎉

Not looking forward to tomorrow.. It will be my first Christmas in 7 years without @M4ttp4rky by my side. Also, all the other patients except myself & one other are allowed home so it will be very quiet here on the ward..

Tomorrow does however mark 1 whole month incident free, my longest streak since May!

Merry Christmas everyone. Thank you all for your support and well wishes, stay safe and enjoy the day. 💜🎁

Matt’s mum just sent me this cute photo to remind me that although I’m 300 miles away, I’m still part of their family..🥲🥰

So every patient on the ward except for me has tested positive for covid & have to isolate in their rooms for 14 days! I’m definitely not taking advantage of having the ward to myself..🤫🍺😆 #HorrorMovieAndABeer

As 2021 ends, thank you all for your support this year. It’s been a little different to say the least yet you’ve all stood by me. I hand on heart didn’t believe I’d make it this far & absolutely wouldn’t have without 2 very special friends, Lifey & TJ saving my life in May.

When the staff join you with a beer..!🍻👌

Happy 7th anniversary @M4ttp4rky I miss you every second of every day & can’t wait to be back home with you where I belong. You’ve been by my side through some of the absolute best & some of the absolute worst times of our lives, but I am forever grateful for you. I love you.

Thanks a bunch covid. My whole family (Mum, Dad, Sister, Grandma & Matt) were coming to visit me for my birthday next week (6th) but due to the outbreak on the ward I will now be spending it alone in my room..😢

Well I guess I’ve made it to 26! 🎊🎈 Never imagined I’d be spending it 300 miles from home stuck in hospital, but it is what it is. If you see this, any happy birthday wishes would be much appreciated!

Thank you all so much for the birthday messages. Genuinely blown away by the kind responses & the fact that you all got ‘Happy Birthday Beth’ trending at number 9 in the UK! And for those that asked..yes we did have cake..😋🎂

Never been more pleased to see a BMW parked outside.. Had a lovely visit from my Dad & a massive hug which I think was much needed by the both of us. 🥰

And here’s the REAL picture…remind me, who’s trying to kill who here @M4ttp4rky?!? 😂💀🏂

10 years ago today I got the phone call that literally brought me to my knees. 10 whole years of missing you every single day. 10 whole years without hearing your laugh. You may be gone from this world Charles, but I promise, you are anything but forgotten.

It’s ironic that the injuries I sustained from a suicide attempt (nerve damage, broken bones, parlayed bladder, paralysed bowel, paralysed foot, chronic pain etc) are the reason I’m now suicidal. Please, learn from me, learn from this. Let my mistake be your lesson.

What else is there to do at 4:30am when you can’t sleep… #beeroclock

I am struggling so so much. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, all I do is lie in bed crying. I’m so lost & broken. I’m sorry I haven’t posted much recently & I’m sorry for being so negative. I’m just in a really really dark place right now & I can’t see a way out.