my kindergarten student to my principal during my formal observation for the 2020/2021 school year: we’ve never learned numbers before me, the teacher who has taught numbers since day one of kindergarten:

I do not have the strength to say “be quiet” another time today.

No way billionaire kylie jenner opened a Go Fund Me for her stylist??? 😭😭 sis how about you GO FUND HIM

caught some first grade students popping each other in the face and they both got written up student 1: accepts it student 2: I swear to GOD I DID NOT POP HER FACE. I mean I might’ve slapped her but not in the face and lemme tell you she SHO DID slap me in the face

I bought 24 tamales from a hispanic lady that sells to my school and claimed they were for Matt but Matt works all weekend so who are they really for

when you fake laughed twice and they still talking

this bookshelf please god

Not me watching the last episode of Friends just to start over from the very beginning. HBO Max, you are my truest friend.

I told my daughter “come here chunky monkey.” and she said “ok fat rat.” 😭😭😭😭 I’m so offended

"u got this" ... bro i dont want it please

Tempted to ask the pizza delivery guy if he’ll run to the dollar store to get me some milk I’m willing to pay like $49

Monday Morning 7:10: walk in work 7:12: students walk in 7:12.5: Mrs. Bethany what’s the difference between crocodiles and alligators can you look it up I have a bunk bed I’m so excited wanna know what I did this weekend I have a dog named Beverly

yeah and it’s now

Passes a state trooper going the opposite direction *glances down at speedometer to see that I am going 15 over “Hey God, it’s me again....”

wait Noooooooo why are plane tickets so expensive . Youre going that way anyway just give me a ride

Curious that the #StopAsianHate crowd is conspicuously silent as Jewish people get violently assaulted on the streets of Biden’s America 🤔

the cicadas are so loud but i guess you ain’t seen each other in 17 years, you gonna have a lot to talk about