I would estimate my lifetime average of successfully opening ketchup sachets to be no better than 35%. 40 tops. I don’t think this is my fault.

Great time to build stages and infrastructure right now - zero risk of disturbing any shooting 🥲

I’ve never been entirely sure what the other two are for, obviously. I think one might be the clutch?

If you absolutely have to watch #DIY videos on YouTube, then I recommend American ones. There's just something about drop shadow captions, jaunty banjo music and the word 'Spackle' that makes them so much better.

A truly world-class display of Uncling there, bravely travelling all the way to the Algarve to watch one of my two talented nieces showjumping. Hero? Well, that’s for others to say.

Thankfully, I'm rarely exposed to it these days, but I'm saddened to report that - in late 2023 - people are still putting stuff on PowerPoint slides and then reading those slides out verbatim to other people. #corporate #bullshit #powerpoint

AI is amazing. I asked it for an image of London and I got a red phone box, black cab, red bus, St Paul’s and a tourist.

Central Bedfordshire, Jan 2024.

⚠️ If you’re suddenly overwhelmed by a desire to sell your Avid S6, we get it, and we can help ⚠️

There are bigger issues, on that you can rely, But all of a sudden (and I've no idea why); It seems like every other ad for a brand, Is a lame couplet-based poem, so I'm taking a stand, against this sort of shit. #Advertising

I really hope the companies who charged commission to do PPI claims, diesel claims, car lease and pension claims have all been 100% fair and transparent - or we could be stuck here forever

Very much looking forward to my chat with Johnnie Burn at this year's @mediaprodshow. So much to ask about, never enough time! Wonder if we'll even get a chance to explore his superlative work on Poor Things! This dude's on 🔥

My advice - as one of only two people pretty much guaranteed a seat - You'll want to rock up early. Johnnie is 🔥

The Film & TV boom in the UK has certainly been very lucrative for people who do artist’s impressions of proposed major new studio developments

BREAKING: New Business Client Surprised To Learn "Media Landscape Is Dramatically Changing" From Every Agency In Pitch

Yeah, I prefer the early stuff, before they got big....

Anyone wanting to learn more about The Ghost of White Hart Lane play I'll be on Hawksbee & Jacobs talkSPORT this afternoon at about 2.15 talking about the project. We are still looking for funding, any amount large or small is most welcome. Please retweet. Thanks. crowdfund.edfringe.com/p/the-ghost-of…

Choice of speaker stands is critical to audio reproduction. Personally, I only ever use speedboats.

In the 90s, to be this close at the Manics would be to take your life in your hands. These days, you merely run the risk of standing on someone's blanket and being tutted to death.