It’s graduation season so here’s a guide* for non academics: 🎓 normal hat, normal robe: they’re getting a Bachelors Degree 🎓 normal hat, silly robe: they’re getting a Master’s Degree 🎓 silly hat, silly robe: they’re getting a Doctoral Degree You’re welcome.

“He’s gone where? Oh my god, to Morrisons! To do a f*cking photoshoot sniffing a loaf of f*cking bread! You know they’ll keep moving him until they get a photo of the twat in front of a sign reading ‘moron’?

Could we have a proportionally representative parliament… *and* keep "one constituency, one MP" *without* needing lots of "top-up" MPs to make up the numbers? Yes! Introducing Best Fit Proportional Constituency Allocation (BFPCA). Here's how it works… 🧵

Whoever is in charge of media relations for Liberal Democrats is on 🔥.

Not sure I quite believe it, but Liberal Democrats as HM Opposition would be an amazing indictment of the current government...

OK, don't bother staying up tonight, as I've predicted the election results. (Spoiler: Labour will win. Not as big as everyone thinks, but still massive) ben-parker.co.uk/?p=209

What has BBC Election done with John Curtice...not been on air for several hours! #Elections2024

Proportional representation works. Liberal Democrats take 11% of seats with 11% of the votes.

IT HAPPENED! The batter’s Holden, the bowler’s Willey. #bbccricket

Delighted to reveal that after an intense training course in a secret bunker in Central London, I am joining the Royal Statistical Society Statistical Ambassadors for 2024...

The great British public have spoken. Die Hard is clearly not a Xmas movie.

Crazy Things from the Past ~ A Thread 🧵 1. Seats of an airplane, 1930

It's even hit #panto. It's the cost of elving crisis.

Glued to The Traitors? ☠️ Wondering how Claudia keeps that fringe? 👩‍🦳 Using an unnecessary (bad) Welsh accent? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Well, all your dreams have come true as we have the definitive mathematicians guide to winning at the Traitors: 🧮➗➕🧑‍🔬 ben-parker.co.uk/?p=215

Don’t say it…

UCU launches academic boycott of Brunel University over mass redundancies. “This is not a decision we take lightly.” Jo Grady ✊ Stand with staff. bit.ly/4cw02JM

Bad news- looks like Easter is mathematically undefined, but probably illegal. You may think it's Easter Sunday today, but it's probably not.