an old couple, in front of me, solving the crossword together.

me when i walk past a bookshop without going in

missing the time when i used to obsessively read books in less than a day and not worry about a single thing in life

me testing the firmness of every avocado in the grocery store

If a plane crash while im on it and I live im suing the airline for a number that don't even exist, bitch I need a kafillion dollars

Dad is typing.... Dad is typing.... One eternity later:

this is wealth

not to trauma dump or anything but during the boston tea party, i was actually thrown into the boston harbor because they thought my body was tea. it was really scary. i almost drowned.

Technology has gone too far man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password

i doubt either of them could fix my computer tbh

Y'all not even ready for the gems being dropped on Love On The Spectrum.

This is the crust to cheesecake ratio I’ve been dreaming about my whole life

Tell the chef I said yummers

listen to your body? the body craves a lethal amount of kinder bueno

Oh u poor 22 year old One day you will understand when you are 24 like me

westerosies One second from every Game of Thrones episode