Don’t show your two year old videos of the indoor waterpark you’ll be visiting for Thanksgiving because the concept of time is tough and she will demand to go immediately.

Tomorrow may be a “bank holiday” but it’s also a holiday all schools are closed so please either everyone just take off and we consider it one of those holidays or everyone just leave parents TF alone because nothing is getting done.

You will always feel a little lost right before you find yourself again.

Come see me next week! And Becca, please, relax your shoulders, girl.

Me to the family: “The (resort we’re going to for Thanksgiving) says you’ll arrive a family and leave as a pack.” Will: “I’m going to need a pack of cigarettes.”

I could use some cheese in this house

Me: I booked a dog-friendly cabin for Pinchot in September. They book up pretty fast. Will: That’s bold. Do you think we’ll still have a dog by then?

I love hearing my husband yell at the top of his lungs, “I thought I told you to flush the toilet when you poop?!”

Hi, it’s me.

I’m going to stop pretending that I am going to start eating salads. I have rarely found a salad - made at home - to be everything I need.

My sister keeps an actual glass of water on her coffee table for her two cats and it’s probably the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Wish I had a picture.

I drastically backed off of reading news in COVID because the doom scroll wrecked my mental health. I usually just look for specific news items now instead of browsing news. And today I got sucked into a scroll and yeah, it’s still ugly out there. What are the answers?

Nothing will make me feel more mentally unstable than my children being unable to handle the 30 minute screen break I ask of them.

The joke of the first graders on the school bus is teasing each other that their mothers are retired. All the mothers wish.

I shop for cute clothes and fancy shoes when all I’ve worn for four days is sweats and wool socks with slippers.

Recently bought a pair of size 6 Levi’s and a pair of size 8 Levi’s and yet the size 10 Gap jeans are too tight and I don’t know why we aren’t regularly revolting against the world. Make sizes make sense.

I want everyday to be like today and I’m sad it will be colder tomorrow but I have hope that the ☀️ is going to keep warming my skin.

A Sam’s Club chicken pie saved my life last night.

“Carbs are just a number.” - Will

I wish we could get a group of 80 smart women in a room and talk about something other than work-life balance. Just…the potential! Imagine what spells we could come up with in an hour!