“Tucker, Suzuki and Crow-Armstrong are up next…”

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Suzuki needs a few days off

Never fails!!!

If you respond with “always” to “are you busy?” I genuinely think you should be put in a work camp

Boog is so happy for devers

Good thing Matt Shaw is batting 8th

All I can think about is how the world has no clue how good Tuten is

Ian happ can suck my dick from the back and I would still think he is absolutely ass at baseball

*uses 2 at bats* “You can’t use 42!!!!” 🤣🤣

19 notifications for a tie game against the Rockies were such fucking losers 🤣🤣🤣

Buddy you just proved my point pointless homer vs the Rockies 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The cubs tie the game against the loser Rockies in the 8th ! Wow! Nice jinx Alex you’re late for school

WHERE were you! When Ian happ hit a 3 run homer vs the Rockies! What a pathetic fan base man lmao

Genuinely less impressive/meaningful homer than if being 7-2 vs the reds

.Alex Cohen go ahead tweet again pussy cmon we’re all waiting

Not sure if you heard, the cubs left fielder hit a 3 run homer today!!

.Alex Cohen

Script setting up Happ is scenes