i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again. amish women are the wave. no social media. no tinder. no uber to leave the crib and cheat on me. can’t text her ex late at night because no phone and also she gotta get up early in the morning to milk the horses. i need it

Berkeley, CA vs Cambridge, MA

Does anyone know if we have to prolong human suffering for pharmaceutical profit tomorrow?

Chief Keef is like Steely Dan in a way. Not elaborating

Beach House feat. Chief Keef or Chief Keef feat. Beach House? I feel like either combination would be incredible but one would be better than the other. Not saying which is which

Bladee is the ideal male specimen.

We don’t get many things that revolve around us but it’s so cool to have The Moon. The Moon has never let us down.

Laid up with a blunt watching Twilight (2008).

Being friends with 22 year olds is so exhausting, why did I just ask this kid if he wanted to hit the bars and all he said was “type shit”

I think Ticketmaster is doing a wonderful job. I don’t mind paying a few extra dollars in order to see the artists whom I love and cherish.

Dudes were 30 years old in 2015 making vines about when the teacher assigns homework

It actually takes a lot of fucking work being the one weird guy in your friend group who makes everybody listen to shoegaze

I’m pretty sure that being on this app in 2019/2020 has caused me a permanent 10% reduction in IQ

I don’t know how else to tell people that emergency personnel never want to be asked “what the craziest thing they’ve seen” is

I want to get married at the Vince Lombardi Highway Plaza.

What was his fucking problem

ER nursing has made me crazy in all of the ways I was told hallucinogenic compounds would.

Loses virginity, GETS IT BACK. #badluckbrian