Timmy Turner’s mom’s wait was snatched.

I be wanting to pay for the car behind me at the drive thrus but knowing my luck they’d be grabbing lunch for whole office.

It’s crazy that the easier music to play around my daughter is drug selling music.

People who stop at yellow lights. We both could’ve made it bitch.

one day I’ma get me a little girlfriend.

randomly woke up 5 lbs lighter, which is pretty cool.

Mariota stinks

this is the wildest NFL season.

there’s a special place in hell for ppl that live tweet during shows or just talk about the episode period

I just needed 1 more completion from Mahomes to win this parlay 🥲

my mind is all over the place

Zappe going crazy

Fam if I’m at the urinal do not try to hold no fuckin conversations with me.

how come only dads are funny

How you and wifey in a pic and you got a better purse than her you brothers need prayer

you hit that pothole that’s on the bridge of Brice/Gender, you end up on the highway.

I’m still confused why Kendrick thought Dominicans wished he was born in NY.

I’ll know I’m disciplined when I truly don’t buy any Christmas gifts like I said I wouldn’t. Every year I say I’m not doing Christmas but end up going all out 😭 I’m not doing that this year.

Top 3 greatest tweet ever

Last time I tweeted this app was called Twitter.…