Pipe cleaners are great sensory play for kids: furry, colorful, with a sharp little stabbie thing on both ends to make sure that everyone involved is in constant danger.

lol that we call it “making” money

Plummer vs Denzel vs Jodie Foster: Inside Man directed by Spike! How could you not.

This projects sounds like a damn dream machine. Congrats to two of the very loveliest and best. lily & Tim Baltz

Friend quit Twitter for mental health. Part of me is “good for her”. Not small part is: “No! You’re supposed to stick around so we can talk shit about this thing we all do that sucks!”

Time to wrap up another WiLd BoY Saturday by opening some mail from my creditors and paying off some debt!

back up a whole Brinks truck for Sarah so she can make this and anything else she wants

DEAF PARENTS AND BABIES?!? Google ads out here throwing daggers in people’s hearts.

Hello and welcome to my kitchen sink. Join me as I wash dishes and shout grand, unenforceable edicts to people who aren’t there. “how many spoons do you need!” “no more sippy cups!” The show is $5 but cheaper than the antidepressant I clearly need.

As a parent, you will have your best* ideas** for tweets right as your kid does some dumb shit: pets an angry dog, tries a cartwheel by a very deep pool or pees on an electrical outlet *only **this is not one of them

the folks in your life unmoved by gun violence do not deserve your forbearance. Jump in their shit every chance. Ruin every holiday til they disown you. You don't need them. I'll be your replacement uncle. I can send you music you'll hate and forget your birthday just as good.

Appreciate them by paying them a living wage

Re Woody Harrelson and #SNL, whenever anyone spews anti-vax stupidity, I always think of the countless videos of traumatized/crying doctors, nurses and hospital workers who were climbing over bodies in Covid’s early days. So yeah, fuck Woody Harrelson.

This is an incredible resource.

Writers: "Let me show you our funny signs!" Actors: "Let me show you how to cut a promo"

When will Hollywood’s dual strikes end? ⁦Phil Rosenthal⁩ offers his thoughts.