Why do some couples make their status "single" every time they fight. I don't put "orphan" when I get into fights with my parents.

Stank pussy + Hot Club = Bad Combination

I'm high y'all... Who wants me to follow them ?

Hey hoe, I know this sound surprising, but your boobs belong inside your shirt.

This fat girl just told me "I Want Some Tattoos On My Neck, It's Sexy!" Hold on hoe you aint even got no neck !

no matter how many times i say i'm done, i know i'll never let him go

I'm eating just in case I get hungry in the future.

Reading old messages and realizing how much you actually miss that one person .

My mom thinks I'm the only person who spends all day on the internet.

2,800 teenage girls get pregnant everyday. Retweet if you like pancakes.

Just because a girl talks to you.. doesn't mean she likes you.

Generally, I'm a nice person. Just don't push the asshole button.

Three Year Old Me: Omg, dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets! Me Now: Omg, dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets!

�A friend with weed is a friend indeed.� - Placebo

I can be the biggest bitch or the biggest sweetheart. It all depends on how you treat me.

When my headphones are on I am in my own fantasy world.

I want a cute, long relationship where everyone is like "damn, they're still together?"

Old songs = Best memories.

"Baby I'm so jealous of your bed!" "Why? cause you wanna sleep with me every night?" "No.... because you have the new Pokemon blanket set" 3

I don't care if it's 4 A.M. I don't consider it "tomorrow" until I wake up. 24,