Admissions Teams accepting students through Clearing.

Happy #WorldBookDay 📚

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

We’re upgrading our historic Great Lawn to use durable ArtiGrass™, helping to save on maintenance costs and improve aesthetics.

We’re introducing 10% tariffs on all students not from Yorkshire (and 20% on students from Norfolk).

Following disappointing application numbers, the Vice-Chancellor has unveiled our new entry tariffs.

NSS events with free pizza 🍕

Finally jumping on the trend…

Due to a malfunction, our Smart Heating Indoor Technology (S.H.I.T™) system is stuck at maximum temperature. Please keep all office windows and doors shut to allow the system to recalibrate.

Students are kindly reminded to remove post-it note artwork from their windows before this weekend’s open day.

We’ve finally been noticed on Threads and they’re not taking it well.

If you have a grievance with the University, our complaints procedure is simple and effective - you can register a complaint using forms A24, S12, BA69, and QAQ7668 within 12 hours of the incident.

We have discovered overnight that our new £400k Smart Window™ system at Kent Campus opens automatically to the sound of thunder. A clean up operation is currently underway.

Parents leaving our Open Days be like

“My tears were actually tears of joy at our stable financial position”, claims Director of Finance during hastily arranged all-staff webinar, flanked by VC and DVC.

It looks like you’re trying to find a creative marketing angle for your disappointing NSS results. Would you like me to start?

At Bantshire, we take sustainability seriously. That’s why we’ve printed 15,000 glossy leaflets and ordered 800 stress balls to prove it. 🌱♻️

Okay fine, we’ve got places in Psychology, Law and Medicine.