Been spending all my free time tending to something important.

Not that X isn't important.

Anyway, hope to be back soon.

What is the true measure of a man?

It varies depending on the temperature.

There's something very satisfying about provoking this kind of angry and extremely hyperbolic response by calmly stating my position.

x.com/people5portlan…

Disputes over what certain words mean get really tedious. Both sides cire dictionary definitions that suit their respective agendas. And both sides can have different interpretations of the exact same definition.

I am no longer going to get bogged down in such arguments.

Their is no excuse for using 'your' when you mean 'you're'.

I know there's a movie called Fahrenheit 451. I don't know what it's about, mor do I care.
But I'm sure it's better than the idea I have for a movie about baking this frozen pizza called Fahrenheit 450.
In any event, typing this killed the ten minutes.

I just stepped on a dried out shard of cheese on the kitchen floor. You'll be happy to know I didn't pop it in my mouth.

Sometimes I get the sense that I'm living forty years in the past.

Why is the term 'illegal immigrant' considered offensive?

Good heavens! I'm late for my nap!

I identify with the tumor I was born with. I'm cystgender.

The stop posting challenge tweets challenge.

I finished my bowl of green beans. Should I open up another can or dig into the brownies I bought today?

I'm off to meet a friend downtown for breakfast.

I'm going to consume a large quantity of French toast.

This young lady has such a charm about her.

x.com/HannahBarron96…

Tomboys are boys. It's literally in the name.

All these stupid bots keep liking my replies.

As a contrarian, I'm tempted by this, but I don't want to spend a week in the slammer.

x.com/Jtaexixx/statu…

I'm often accused of playing dumb.

I never play dumb.

If you were a serial killer, what nickname would the media give you?

'My, what a pleasant tweet.'