Ayrshire Fake News (@ayrshirenews) 's Twitter Profile
Ayrshire Fake News

@ayrshirenews

Ayrshire Fake News. Covering all of Ayrshire. North, South, East, West. Submit your stories. We pay no money. Just some daft fun.

ID: 1615051775119134721

calendar_today16-01-2023 18:22:16

38 Tweet

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15 Following

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Craig David from Ayr is planning on using his famous namesakes 7-day song as a valentines event for one lucky lady he's hoping to meet this evening. "I'm really looking forward to the Wednesday to Saturday bit. Lets hope she's a right sort" #ayrshire #news #ValentinesDay #pump

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Local councillor resignation overshadowed by the resignation of the First Minister. "I wasn't told, I was looking forward to reading about my career and achievements in the paper but now it'll be wall to wall Sturgeon pish" #ayrshire #news #nicolasturgeon #nippy

Local councillor resignation overshadowed by the resignation of the First Minister. "I wasn't told, I was looking forward to reading about my career and achievements in the paper but now it'll be wall to wall Sturgeon pish"

#ayrshire #news #nicolasturgeon #nippy
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Psychic medium night in Tarbolton ends in disaster after a lady who was adopted child made contact with her "dead" birth mum only to find out she's alive and in the audience. Psychic now advertising service to contact the dead living. #ayrshire #news #psychic #deadoralive

Psychic medium night in Tarbolton ends in disaster after a lady who was adopted child made contact with her "dead" birth mum only to find out she's alive and in the audience. Psychic now advertising service to contact the dead living.

#ayrshire #news #psychic #deadoralive
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Aurora Borealis spectators in Troon disappointed to find out that the lights they are seeing flashing across the sky is coming from wee Davey's flat whose having a rave #ayrshire #news #Auroraborealis #aciiiid

Aurora Borealis spectators in Troon disappointed to find out that the lights they are seeing flashing across the sky is coming from wee Davey's flat whose having a rave

#ayrshire #news #Auroraborealis #aciiiid
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A racing alternative to Cheltenham will be seen on Ayr beech this afternoon as a couple of local lads are going to dress up and race for the Ayr Beech Cup. Unfortunately they all have sweary names so we cannot print them #ayrshire #news #cheltenham #runfasterhorse

A racing alternative to Cheltenham will be seen on Ayr beech this afternoon as a couple of local lads are going to dress up and race for the Ayr Beech Cup.  Unfortunately they all have sweary names so we cannot print them

#ayrshire #news #cheltenham #runfasterhorse
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Largs hillwalking club announce that Robert Wells has been elected to leader of the group with 4 out of 7 votes. 45 members abstained. #ayrshire #news #teamboaby #notmyfm

Largs hillwalking club announce that Robert Wells has been elected to leader of the group with 4 out of 7 votes. 45 members abstained.  

#ayrshire #news #teamboaby #notmyfm
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Animal rights campaigners turned up at Dalry train station on Monday after hearing about rabbits being contained and left unfed for a long period of time. They released them, but the rabbits never moved.

Animal rights campaigners turned up at Dalry train station on Monday after hearing about rabbits being contained and left unfed for a long period of time.  They released them, but the rabbits never moved.
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Armed police closed off a road in Ayr earlier today after reports of a man with a weapon. After a stand off, they realised there was no threat. The man simply was a weapon, he didn't have one. #ayrshire #news #weapon #ayr

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Troon pensioner furious with too many bank holidays. "The young don't know what work is. I worked for 55 years without 3 mondays off and that includes when I lost a leg in 1978. They stichted me up, gave me paracetemol and I was back to work after a week" said Tall Tail Jim

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The Spar on Wheatley Road, Saltcoats has announced that it will start selling vegetables. The local response is mixed. "I won't have any of that shit, especially that green shit. Don't like it, don't wear it so won't eat it" #ayrshire #news #green #vegetables

The Spar on Wheatley Road, Saltcoats has announced that it will start selling vegetables.  The local response is mixed.  "I won't have any of that shit, especially that green shit.  Don't like it, don't wear it so won't eat it"

#ayrshire #news #green #vegetables
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A Prestwick resident has complained about her local pharmacy because Viagra is marketed for men. "Why is it blue? Why is it only for men? Haven't they seen the news? Women can have penises too you know." #ayrshire #news #ladyboners

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Ayr airshow approaching after aircraft arrive at Ayrshires airport. Amazing aerial acrobatics and abundant audiences are anticipated. Adults arriving accompanying adolescents are allocated alcohol allowance. #ayrshire #news #ayr #airshow

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Following a freedom of information request, Stagecoach has released training material detailing how a bus driver should look as they stop to pick up passengers. #ayrshire #news #busdriver #hail

Following a freedom of information request, Stagecoach has released training material detailing how a bus driver should look as they stop to pick up passengers.

#ayrshire #news #busdriver #hail
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A vet in Troon found an injured bird, nursed it back to health only for it to fly away without a bye your leave. Vet now seeking compensation for cost incurred and emotional distress. Bird counter claiming for false imprisonment and sexual assualt. #ayrshire #news #vets #bird