"There's a difference between 'taking care of yourself and avoiding anything that makes you uncomfortable." - my son, a college freshman #thread🧵

“Therapy is not introspection or insight, it is a relationship” 👇

If you fail to critique your side, your community, your cause from a place of care, you leave the floor to those whose criticisms are driven by contempt.

In recent years, people have used increasingly extreme language to describe ordinary experiences— It wasn’t stress; it was 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 I wasn’t irritated; I was 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘥 Someone difficult is 𝘵𝘰𝘹𝘪𝘤 Disagreement is 𝘨𝘢𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 Harsh words are 𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦

Kintsugi is the ancient Japanese art of “golden repair.” Cracked & broken pottery is rejoined with lacquer & gold & becomes STRONGER in the repaired places Character and beauty are enhanced by honoring, not hiding, it’s history Is meaningful psychotherapy kintsugi for the soul?

What a privilege to be tired from the work you prayed for. What a privilege to feel overwhelmed by growth you used to dream about. What a privilege to be challenged by a life you created on purpose. What a privilege to outgrow things you used to settle for.

A crucial insight of psychoanalysis is that opposite feelings and experience coexist. It’s not either/or, it’s both/and Being victim does not preclude being predator, and being predator does not preclude being victim In one way or another, we are all predators as well as prey

Psychoanalysts know love and hate both are inherent in *all* human relationships. Both/and, not either/or Not recognizing hateful feelings is not a sign of heathy attachment but of defensive denial

“They trauma dumped on me” …you mean your friend talked about something difficult in their life?

Stop calling exploitation burnout

Many people I see in therapy come to realize that they re risk-averse & have spent their entire lives not taking chances. They were taught to "play it safe." But to live a full life... The safest thing you can do is take a risk.

What a privilege to outgrow the things you used to settle for.

😭😭

why is the pressure to “be the bigger person” always placed on the person who was wronged?

One of the hardest things to accept is how many colleagues stay silent. Not because they don’t agree or don’t want to help, but because speaking up could cost them a grant, a title, or a seat at some table. Some even echo university administration talking lines, knowing full

Evergreen tweet. Reposting as needed

Feeling embarrassed by your past work is not a sign of incompetence. It’s a mark of growth. Regretting your prior decisions doesn't reflect poor judgment. It reveals new insight. Cringing at your old opinions doesn't display ignorance. It demonstrates an open mind.