Cooked a perfect steak last night if anyone even cares

Every day I fight for my LIFE to resist the urge to start smoking cigarettes

I think about this once a week

I stepped on a piece of glass while going through TSA and the worst part was that my phone was still in the bin so I couldn’t even take a picture of all the blood dripping onto the floor while I waited for a bandaid

Ummm guys I think I just fell out of a coconut tree???

Gus and Frances at 11 pm every night

I feel like I could do this

And if I said I had a huge crush on him, then what?

I’m so glad I’m gay

happy pride month

I hate movies where things keep happening

😬😬😬

God grant me the serenity to accept that I cannot get McDonalds today, the courage to not get McDonald’s today, and the wisdom to not get McDonald’s today

When I say I want a house with “a little bit of land” I mean a backyard

This is what it feels like to get a little kiss on the forehead from your wife

only 2-3 household purchases away from peace and contentment. I'm sure of it this time

I’ll be there

ㅤ

I get so mad at people for texting and driving meanwhile I’m driving and googling the lyrics to Famine by Sinead O’Connor