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Let me let y’all in on a secret: No restaurant wastes money on 2% or low fat milk. When you order these things, we just mix whole milk with water and charge you for a milk.

And just like us, that whole milk was used to make every single percentage of milk anybody had the nerve to ask for.

To everyone who has to work serving other families today instead of being with your own: I see you. I feel you. And I hate these worthless mother fuckers who can’t just cook for themselves and their families. I hope their significant others cheat on them all mercilessly.

SOME NASTY MOTHER FUCKER LEFT A USED PANTY LINER ON ONE OF OUR TABLES! I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE!

I look so white, my coworkers often forget I’m brown and grew up in the hood. I asked to get some lotion cause I’m out and I’m wearing a skirt today. Why she gonna laugh when I said “Can I please get some lotion from you? I’m ashy.”

THIS.

Does anyone want a husband? He’s sold as is. Slightly damaged, but works very well in private. Sometimes just grunts, but is fully articulate.

My momma always told me I could be anything I wanted to be. I choose to be drunk.

Me literally every morning I walk into work.

Me to 99% of the men I’ve spoken to on this app.

I’ve had it with work. They still haven’t added my raise or my promotion to my paycheck. If it’s not there by the time payroll goes in on Thursday, they gonna have to cut me a check for back pay!

My favorite cook doesn’t even ask me what I want to eat. He just makes food and says, “Ami, baby, here’s your food.” And some how, it’s always exactly what I’m craving. He’s an angel who speaks to my soul, and I would rush into battle for this man.

Every time I get a “hi” dm from some rando, I’m going to start sending them a pay app request so they pay for my time. Saw someone else do that, and I don’t know if she made any money, but I bet the messages stopped.

Blocked In Curtains open, the bright morning sun spills into the room. The floor to ceiling (cont) tl.gd/noudqs

If you screw with my paycheck, and you do not answer me when I message you to get the information to fix it, you best believe I am going to report your ass. This is the second time this manager has screwed up an employee‘s check. I’m through playing. I deserve my commission.

Somethings never change…