The food at my wedding but it’s just rollers full of quiktrip taquitos.

Don’t turn 26 bc then you have to shop for your own insurance. And that means 57 freaking phone calls a day that you’ll never answer but they’ll never stop calling.

You think he is different and not a player? If Snapchat still showed top friends would he snap you as much? If the answer is no, he’s gotta go.

Jeeple are weird

If we are calling dogs fur babies are we also calling kids skin puppies?

Many pets like animal planet on the tv, mine is partial to Adam Sandler movies

Space girls, what planet is in retrograde rn? bc there’s no way everyone I know just coincidentally feels like the world is trying to drown them currently, something is up.

Rainstorms are the BEST when you live in a camper 🙌🏻

I girl bosses too close to the sun a couple weeks ago and did like 3 days of work in one day and now I have not done anything since. 🫠

Remember when in hs if he let you drive his truck it meant he looooved you. Cringe. You couldn’t pay me to drive Hayden around in his own truck.

I hate Bucees and I never knew why but I also hate crowds and crowds at the gas station are the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of so I think I’ve cracked that mystery wide open.

The. Worst.

The way I’m about to go discipline someone’s kids if they don’t stop their screaming and running through the camp ground at 9:30pm

This is your yearly reminder that the on ramp is for you to get up to speed…

Why do men hold forks like toddlers?

This is your reminder that if your company is only giving you one raise per year and it isn’t higher than 6% you’re probably taking a yearly paycut 😘

Our generation’s anxiety about missing work stems from perfect attendance awards in elementary school.