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Trump honoring a child with brain cancer tonight and then leading a standing ovation for him while simultaneously eliminating all spending for child cancer research is a perfect encapsulation of MAGA morality.

“All your pictures look the same” Well unfortunately for everyone I am not Mystique so here we are

You are here.

The sound of the rain in a warm cozy bed with you

i miss the days before object permanence

I am not a receptacle for your inside thoughts. Get a journal

Eat the centrists.

She’s fucking 50 something. She looks so good. Fucking hell leave us the fuck alone.

i'm dancing at Jugsy Malone's tonight. if you mention international women's day you'll get half off the cover charge!

i'm going to be quietly seething about that lost hour all week

on international women's day we get to wear our swords on the outside right?

on which date do you tell them you're a professional assassin?

i know it's early but don't any of you want to take me to prom?

here's the only sermon you need today: live fast and eat ass

i bet none of you guys would drop to your knees with an anguished 'noooooooo!!!' if you found out i died and it hurts a little

idk who needs to hear this but you don't have time to masturbate this morning. get moving

reverse cowgirl so i can trim your gnarly toenails

ugh tomorrow's going to be a nightmare. i'll be mistaken for Irish all day long

can someone corn my beef? heeeeyoooooo