no pain au chocolat no gain au chocolat

Still absolutely buzzing from last week’s performances. Three medals for GB at a European Championships is beyond what any of us thought possible before it happened! Congrats to Emily Campbell and Emily Muskett (Godley) and huge thank you to UK Sport for making it possible 🥉🥈🥉

Would also like to say a huge thank you to everybody who has supported us, donated to our fundraisers and cheered us on along the way. Totally overwhelmed by the amount of love and support you’ve given us. It’s difficult to verbalise how much we appreciate you, but we really do.

Looking forward to unleashing more power with zero wires to hold me back. 💪 #PowerbeatsPro Beats by Dre

So I turned 25 on Friday and have had DOMS literally every day since then. Just a coincidence or is this my life now?

Just call us Nev and Max 🕵🏽‍♀️🕵🏻‍♀️

Can we talk about boys on Tinder who say things like “if every photo has a filter it’s a no from me” but appear to be pulling the same squinty-eyed pout (which I’m guessing they are trying to pass off as ‘smouldering’) in all six of their near identical headshots?

The plumbing in my flat has sprung a leak and I’m the only damn person that lives here meaning I HAVE to deal with it. This is an even worse adult reality than having to schedule your own doctor/dentist appointments.

Million dollar idea: Uber but they come into your house and get the spider for you

It’s not truly a weight cut until you’re lying in bed in the middle of the night, unable to stop thinking about a sandwich you ate 5 years ago. Miss you, smoked chicken and tarragon from Blue Quail’s deli.

was so confused by my wife’s grocery list until I got to the store

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAST RESORT 🎶

squidward is the ultimate millennial icon -overeducated with a deadend job -works for a boomer obsessed with money -depressed -bi?

Hey Uber Support, I’m confused. I’ve never asked for a refund or replacement of an item before, but “the nature, frequency and similarity of the complaints received are not indicative of the service we offer and are highly atypical of any one account”? I just wanted my sushi 😒

Hi @Hermesparcels - this is not a signature or proof of delivery. It’s also not even 12:46 yet and nobody in this household has seen any delivery. In summary, where is my parcel?

nobody in this household has seen any delivery.