#WomenAreDelusional How the fuck is this woman Delusional

I miss this

“flightless bird” my ass. this mf fly as hell

P*rnhub doesn’t work for women bc the categories like “ass” and “milf” only cater to men, while women need more specific categories like “bo burnham yells at you” and “the priest scenes in fleabag”

Just learnt we closer in time to that Trex than the staggiestorus. Really puts things into perspective huh

Ah

You guys ever realize that the word yea looks a lot like the word pea. I picture a whole bunch of peas flying through the air when someone texts me the word yea.

So pissed. Just found out you can share your location with someone via your iPhone. So I’ve been shoving this AirTag up my ass every day before work so my wife can make sure I get home safe for literally no reason.

there are tears in my eyes LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

#dreamfacereveal

When you order the chocolate chip muffin instead of the chocolate chips muffin 😫

i just want to live in a post-Shrek world