Why do people thank God after they’ve been cured of a disease like he wasn’t the one who gave it to them in the first place.

I get so offended when people are like “omg I didn’t expect you to have a good personality judging from your pictures!?!” Like the fuck??? Because I’m confident and post my body on the internet??? Some people really can’t fathom that you can be a good person and hot.

Y'all I'm pretty immune to diet ads these days, but the Noom ads are even starting to make me question things. Be careful out there!!

i hate those comedians who are like “you can’t joke about anything these days!” and then write jokes like “i identify as a pizza slice that’s my gender” like get good at comedy before you start complaining about it my dude

Brutal

some memories are better forgotten

Me tonight when I think about how the last ten years of rock music were really great but bands like Maroon 5 and Imagine Dragons label themselves as rock because they can’t chart high against Taylor Swift so our favorite bands don’t get the credit they deserve.

sat having new years drinks with george and every 5 minutes without failure, he keeps asking me who joe is whilst laughing in hysterics petition to remove his 3 million subscribers - like to sign

"Tämä yhtye on ehkä tämän hetken lupaavin nouseva metalliyhtye Suomesta, enkä kyseenalaista tätä titteliä sekuntiakaan." kaaoszine.fi/nosturin-viime…

*God giving humans the ability to think on their own* Humans : God doesn’t exist God : wait, no.

Who let my dog out of Hell?

George just came in my room and asked to suck my toes “quick” for a video? looking for a new roommate...

kids are making tik toks on the train and don’t realise they’re in the presence of its biggest star.

Moments before disaster

Boys will say “she’s a slut, she’s dirty” and live in a house with Liquor bottle decorations using 3-in-1 shampoo without ever getting STD tested or regularly using fingernail clippers