I have deciced i would rather die than sit in traffic

I promise you there is.

If you're contractor rolls up in this you're about to overpay by 30%

Does anyone know if the Argentinian beef deal is going to mean McDonalds will stop being good for you?

God damnit… our neighbor is a Packers fan.

I have faith that the central planners can manage the decline carefully enough to avoid anything that normal people would be able to identify as a “disaster”

Eating is like love making. It’s best done fast and hard.

King Solomon after writing scores of proverbs pleading men to avoid strange women

youtu.be/oNaz5X7bnRQ?si…

You know how I feel about seniors. Let's get him OUT! Just a SHARE please? For this old dude and that one? Thanks.

If you criticize Jews you lose every Jewish vote, but whether they admit it or not, everyone agrees with you. White liberals can force themselves to like rap music and basketball and pretend Joey Reid is a genius, but nobody actually thinks the Jews are benign.

-the lead singer from Bad Company before going solo

I’m 82 and my girlfriend is chained to the water heater in my basement.

Take the retard pill, thank me later.

Allowing illegals to have driver’s licenses is one of the most insane aspects of our modern society. It’s not stupidity. The average liberal hates you and wants you dead.

You already know what he's going to say

Lost my horrible son's entire college fund gambling on the Cracker Barrel peg game