I hope whoever stole my wallet has had a nice weekend and doesn't get too bothered by the chewing gum I hide in there!

Top 5 fruits when they are in form: 1. Pear 2. Peach 3. Watermelon 4. Strawb 5. Pink lady apple.

Loool

The food chain: 1. Mosquitos 2.Everything else

So annoying that it isn't easier to see the scores etc of European football. Imagine if we could watch this game instead of nothing this aftternoon bbc.co.uk/sport/football…

*Apart from alcaraz which I watched all of obvs but not same as footy

The genius of David Brent was in the fact that these people *actually exist*

so difficult to find vitamins in airports

Were so fuckin good

Siri, define Sir Andy Murray... #AusOpen | Andy Murray

ICSMFC Students 5-6 ICSMFC Doctors Great to see the lads yesterday & get a narrow but deserved victory on a sunny spring afternoon thanks to goals from Sam Acors (2), Toby Burn (2), Theo Rashid & M. Rafferty 👏

Congratulations to ICSMFC 1st XI for retaining the United Hospitals Cup tonight! Enjoy the celebrations 🥳

If something is made out of recycled materials does that automatically mean you can recycle it?

This is totally ridiculous and does nothing but make people angry. Lock them up, and fine them. All Just Stop Oil do is disrupt people getting to work, getting to appointments, enjoying themselves at events, and getting on with their lives. Vile people.

Just djokovics 14th grand slam tiebreak in a row

Incredible tbf MOTD2 analysis: How Trent Alexander-Arnold gave a "passing masterclass" - bbc.co.uk/sport/av/footb…

I won the Rio tournament and 18 000 Pool Coins! 8bp.co/BMSVN?t=fb_tou…

I got 48 of 50 right, and you ? joe.co.uk/news/quiz-name… #joepubquiz via JOE