So...is getting your Twitter account hacked just par for the course or do I have smashing good luck?

I wonder what I'll smell like as an elderly person. I hope it's cotton candy and not moth balls and pomade.

I'm developing a new habit of eating oranges in the shower. No sticky hands! The peels are really starting to pile up though...

I love Walt Frazier announcing for the Knicks! He throws in vocabulary during the game. I mean who says "inauspicious" to describe a play?

Does anyone remember when the last time I had sex was?

After five months of sleeping on couches and airbeds my porn of choice is perusing mattress store websites. Those pillow tops make me randy!

I'm going to see Harry Connick Jr. tonight! And doing it all solo. Who says you can't have a good time alone with your pants on!

I'm debating becoming a Tweeter even though my life isn't interesting enough to tweet. Who's with me?!

I'm being a retard and looking at Twitter.

I'm about to watch a movie in Encino and there are a surprising amount of old people here. Is that normal?

People that open rug stores...do they actually believe the business will be successful or are they just big big fans of Aladdin?

I have an irrational fear of laundromats, or is it?

The best thing about being an extra is doing the robot when no one is looking.

Walking home two miles in flip flops hasn't been my best idea to date but it comes close.