twitter is the only app where people will genuinely defend their right to bully people and then call it an opinion😭

#nrw wake up dead man

Sadly I still have 3 days left before I finish. But I cannot wait to set my out of office message so anyone outside the company trying to contact me gets the "I'M AWAY UNTIL JANUARY 7TH SUCK IT"

Oh, so they have the tech to do a weight transfer graphic, which is utterly pointless. But they can't make a decent snicko/ultra-edge that actually gives the correct decision? Fucking useless #Ashes

What's going to happen of course, is Australia will declare in the time it takes me to get upstairs to bed and turn my other TV on. And then I'll nod off at some point and England will be all out before the day (night) is over so I shall miss it. Hopefully #Ashes

Jokes on you unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

“His body (language) is rejecting her." 🧐

Oh. Well. At least I have time for Xmas shopping afterwards.

Just passed a bloke who was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. It's 8c and I can barely feel my hands.

My boss is in a box today and he sent me this. The only thing we care about is the quality of the mac and cheese tbf

Nobody tell my mother but a rat just ran across my foot on its way to the park 🙃

THERE IS A PUPPY ON THE BUS AND ITS GONE TO SLEEP ON ITS OWNERS LAP 😭😭

My eye twitched reading this