My mother is crying and banging on my locked door. There's a fire downstairs and she thinks I haven't realized. I smile to myself and look at the perfect 3D shapes sitting on my desk. I turn the square pyramid over in my hand and weigh it against the tetrahedron. The same weight.

Jesus in the desert for 40 days: this sucks Jesus in the desert for 40 nights: zzzzzzz

guy from Logan with the robot hand, young Sheldon but a bully, Tom Holland, Freddy Krueger but he transitioned instead of becoming a serial killer, Harry potter if he was young Sheldon, the matrix but with young Sheldon instead of neo

carefully considering every ad that appears on my feed

[alternate world where coffee doesn't exist] me: can I get a coffee barista: ok me at 80 in a rocking chair: and that's how I inspired the invention of the beverage known as coffee grandson: when you die can I tell people at school you were murdered

if I had a gun to my head I wouldn't be able to recall the colours of the power rangers but that's okay because usually they just want me to remember my bank details or when I killed their father in front of them as a young man

l hate gay halloween. what do you mean gay dracula is coming to scare me on this night the spookiest night of the year gay halloween

I drove over 200 miles yesterday at the convention for people named miles. it was a harrowing experience and I still see their faces when I close my eyes.

BREAKING: into your house. and, stealing your stuff

bringing up the manhattan project here is like saying my roommate situation has the potential to be the next "The Beatles" in that it is a group of people

democracy dies in darkness, but you know what dies in the light? the shadow demons that only I can see. what's the real priority here?

where have the years gone

When will my husband return from the war? -----------> Tuesday

we wish you were Mary Christmas

someone disintegrated on the train

“grand” son. “great” grandson. The dickriding is crazy

Oh sorry! I say as I bump into an attractive woman, dropping my complete collection of essays on Ancient Greco-Roman relations accompanied by drawings of Greco inspired nudes (women) with detailed realistic anatomy to show both acceptance and expertise. The naked female form is b

I can take it anymore.

guy who invented whichever one of these came second: fuck it just call it a compass too. i'm so bad at naming things... fuck! i'm angry. fuck my life. i'm going for a walk