my mum recently caught me with a cucumber and ever since the cucumber incident my mum is convinced that ill just try to fuck any item of food that happens to be nearby, she couldn't find the rice cakes today and just automatically assumed that id been having sex with them

after i orgasm i yell " aaaaaannndd scene." then push him off me, throw him his clothes while holding the door open and say " ummmm we'll call u"

number 1 :))