Are there any drag queen magicians out there in Los Angeles available this Sunday for a small daytime backyard dog birthday party?

My eyes are up here

motherfucker the cities are called “Los Angeles” and “San Francisco”

Loveee laying out on a towel on the grass I’m sunbathing with ants bees and butterflies all around me. I’m like the Snow White for arthropods

Oouu that sounds so incredibly boring and like such a waste of my vacation time but I love that for u

Europeans: “this email is unmonitored over summer. good luck” Americans:

hello sharks. i am asking for a day between sunday and monday

Why do I feel like Iran is gonna have a nuke by the end of the year…

i can literally never go to the US again

Who wouldn’t want a slip and die in their bedroom 😍

i really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good …

I’m loving the new McDonalds Axis Powers menu

oh to be ducks walking on Hydrangea petals

I listen to podcasts on x2 speed and anytime an ad comes on and isn’t sped up they sound hilariously drunk

Happy 4th of July

R u kidding me rn