A great guy doing a great thing

Never got milk delivered when i stayed with my maw n da. So when i got my own gaff and mcqueens dairy came a knocking i was signed up no second thoughts. Now ive got 3 4 pinters untouched in my fridge and to be quite honest i cant ever see my self getting out this milk hole.

Imagine being that much of a selfish bastard that you are born in January. “You absolutely rooked after Christmas, aye? You scunnered wae the drink, aye? Tough titty shower me with presents n get to the pub for my birthday” Selfish. Bastards.

Look at the guys profile pic hahah 😭😭

Just caught a magpie outside eating my dugs shite. Looked like it was enjoying it. Remember troops, no matter how bad it may seem, it could always be worse.

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Having a dug is true unconditional love. No slept a wink last night cos the wee cunt was giving himself frights with his own farts n running away from them growling 🤣

Cyclists will greet about folk getting too close to them and being ignored on the road and then mow you down remorselessly for daring to step foot in the cycle lane as a pedestrian

Anyone else concerned that Ange Postecoglou might have to become become First Minister?

Just remembered ye dont pay council tax in February or March n i could honestly streak in the streets of hamilton with sheer elation. Gony take myself for a cheeseburger in celebration 🍾 🎉

Right thats me aff the pies this is what the algorithm is dishing me out on a Monday. Mad corset boxers. Chicken and rice 3 meals a day from here on out.

Pay day. Sun is shining in the sky. Celtic winning trophies Sunday. Monday aff. The good times are en route.

Have spent a long time in life trying to find a way not to feel like a big fat tub of shite that circumvented the need to exercise and have come to the following disappointing conclusion. You’re gony have to do it. You’re gony have to have a wee run aboot. Theres no other way

One of the benefits of this weather is everyone being ootside. Wee guy in my street playing out the back just exclaimed “wit the hell man!” and his da shouted “dont swear ya wee fanny” back at him. Top class nonsensical parenting.

Don’t mean to be dramatic right but see on a large black coffee I am unstoppable. Invincible.

My dug is a heavy exhibition shitter. Under a tree in a quiet spot in the park ❌ In the middle of the road in front of oncoming traffic in both directions at rush hour ✅

Opposition players going past aribo during the handshakes

Still available. £30 each. Gonny RT please 😂