My mom made me cut my shower short this morning because the cat wanted water from the bathroom sink... What is life???

Twitter:Ryan_scal and 4 others favorited a photo Me: oh look I favorited a photo, lemme go check it out, mustve been cool #confusingtwitter

#Murica #Champions

Meeting with the CEO and CFO, either about to get a promotion or get fired, I think I like my odds

You know you're finally not the favorite child anymore, when your parents invite your cat to Florida and not you...

@jhould30 I'm sour you got to drive it before me

My coworker is reenacting how her dog howls at her in the morning... I wasn't trained for this

Sister went to take a snapchat and promptly asked what Compton was... Is it too late for adoption?

@dhebert10 I mean, I can't say I'm offended

Someone just came by my window on their morning run and I'm genuinely offended that they are up this early being productive with their life

Tripped my rooms breaker vacuuming, taking that as a sign never to vacuum again

I guess Christmas gifts are off the table this year

Thankyou maintenance for leaf blowing for three hours at 7, no one wanted to sleep anyway

Nestor Zerpa

Who let this guy commentate a playoff game?

everyone look at my new default

How will freshmen bulldogs know if classes are delayed tomorrow if they do not follow Big Dawg on Twitter?Ans: They will never know.🐶

Can we vote Ronald Machtley for President?

Comcast takes a month to us they can't put up a line, so we get stuck with directv, A month later "FYI we put up lines"... thanks Comcast