I got a taper yesterday and idk what I did to piss him off but the barber treated me like he just found out I was fucking his ex.

They call me Mr. Spend-that-shit-then-get-that-shit-right-back-cuz-it-aint-nuthin

The guys were talking about the most they’ve bet on something and I had to keep quiet bc the highest wager was $700. 😳🤐

I have dark thoughts and sinister plots. I’m just smart enough not to put anything in writing that could get me arrested or hospitalized.

35mins to go 3 miles is ridiculous.

Been rockin with the corded headphones lately and I didn’t realize how much I missed untangling that shit everytime I pull them out of my pocket.

Sometimes I lie to people I don’t trust just to test my gut.

No condiments please I have enough sauce 😌

I fucking did it 😩😩😩😩

Just met Rudy Gobert. Didn’t get a pic But he’s shorter than I thought.

Google > Bing Gmail > Outlook Slack > Teams

I keep that thang on me (shame and regret)

She think I’m the realest out I said damn, that makes 2 of us

I wish they’d stop letting white people invent new sports.

Thursdays I work 7-11

My sleep debt is insurmountable