Anyone else ever smear Elmer's school glue on their hand just to let it dry and peel it off? #satisfying

I was today years old when I realized the #McDonalds Big Breakfast is just their sausage & egg biscuit sandwich deconstructed with hashbrowns and some jelly on the side.

I had a strange #dream last night that @shanemadej was driving me home from O'hare Airport.

A Chicago suburb made the list of "Best Cities for Cat Lovers." 🐱🐱

The Charmin Forever Roll... because someone said, "I want to have a giant roll of TP in my bathroom like a fast food restaurant, except make it premo TP."

#cats on my lap and #coffee in my cup. #sundayvibes

Ready for some Kinky Boots at #ParamountAurora! #ParamountKinkyBoots

Woo hoo, #Chicago! I always knew there was a reason why you always feel like home. #Chicagoland #beautiful "Chicago was just voted the 2nd most beautiful city in the world" timeout.com/chicago/news/c…

RIP Betty White. Gone too soon, even though you were just shy of your 100th b-day.

Because of course #BettyWhite has a Little Golden Book... #StayGolden #RIPBettyWhite

Warm your cockles and thaw those bleak winter blues with The Muse's 2-Day Cold Snap Sale.

How can you tell it is #WINTER in the midwest? Parking lot snow bigger than a car.

Why is it that my #cats can sneeze all over me, but if I sneeze near them, they give me side-eye and walk away? #Catsociety #DoubleStandards

My starter words? Either PROUD ALIEN or ALIEN PROUD. They hit aal of the vowels and some popular consonants and don't repeat any letters. #Wordle #WINNER #AlienInvasion Wordle 282 3/6 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜⬜🟨🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Ever have a time when your brain just wants to take the day off? #adhd #destractions

More thrills and heartstring pulls than all the Jurassic Parks and Jurassic Worlds rolled into one, and more factual. #puppethistory

I just finished Tastes Like War, and this book encompasses so much of what it means to be an "other" in America. Everyone has a story, and no one should judge. #biglibraryread #booklovers

I deleted this tweet because some folks translating from the original ancient Greek (not the 1840's translation I was using) have chimed in to say that actually the original text likely indicates that you'd get free education if you were his buddy but otherwise you'd get free