She’s breaking up with him after the game

this is like the reversal of the cybertruck. charming and brings a smile to my face

Had a coworker ask me about my wife’s green card status… bro what the fuck are you on asking me this in a corporate office setting

Existential anger and sadness were not on my bingo 2025 card

Ignore the Supreme Court except when they say student loans are not forgiven i guess??

if i never saw a jubilee video again it would be too soon

It took over 4 years but i finally finished my masters degree… im not gonna get over this accomplishment for awhile. All paid for and earned by yours truly. Damn. Feels good

meanwhile in bowling

Til the day I die DePaul University is not getting a dollar in philanthropy cuz how does someone with a PhD mispronunciation the fucking name GEORGE MARTINEZ Oh btw i graduated though :’)

This is like seeing those early reports of a mysterious flu spreading across the US in early February 2020. The surreal feeling of knowing we're just a few weeks away from finding out exactly how bad things are out there.

Ness back throw kills almost anyone at ledge by 120 so I bait for that and I’m chilling. But then i forget it isn’t common to have a kill throw option, and not everyone is comfy at ledge like he is.

I lowkey believe Jennifer Garner when she talks about capital one

Pokemon concierge got a season 2 let’s GOOOOO

This is like how i went to Steak ‘n Shake yesterday for the meme and saw they accept bitcoin as payment??

Hate I’m at the point that both my parents annoy me rn. Why is adulting like this bro?

This is why ice climbers will always be hype

O’Hare is the only airport i go to that you gotta taxi for 20+ min literally every time you land does anyone know why?? Is it just cuz it’s big?

I can’t even escape the demographic cliff on my Twitter feed man my job never leaves me aloneee

Is this chili’s telling me to lose some weight?

Ampharos nation rise up.