The only one scoring points tonight is YouTubeTV.

Due to issues with supply, I will no longer be offering a penny for your thoughts.

an average working class man could buy this house in the 50s, support 4 kids and a stay at home wife. today a two income household can't even buy eggs without going into debt wtf is going on

Uh, I think I'll wait for the next one.

Sublet, pointing at a toy two feet away from her: Can you grab that for me? Me: Can you get it? Sublet, incredulous: No I can't grab it. It's too hard.

Me watching all my sports teams.

"Party time! Excellent!"

When everyone on Twitter is talking about a story you know nothing about.

Share a photo that looks like a painting.

I thought we had made it past Cocomelon. I was wrong.

He's from Chicago. He's on a mission from God. The answer is obvious. 🎶Everybody needs somebody Everybody needs somebody to love Someone to love Sweetheart to miss Sugar to kiss 🎶

Diner

#RandomTelevisionGIF

Driving by yourself as the parent of two small kids: "School bus!" "Fire truck!" "Bulldozer!"

Hmmmm . . .

As I expected, those accounts I hate are all based in Giedi Prime.

Use only one Art to convince people to follow you

If I were a member of Congress and I wanted to say anything remotely controversial, I would do it from the floor of the Chamber.