Nothing like having the day off and your boss calling juuuuuust as you’re about to orgasm.

Let a weird girl show you what real love is

The love of my life turned 17 today. All I can say is that she’s amazing, and I feel very lucky to be her mom.

Messy hair, exaggerated duck lips, and Ricky Bobby hands. What the fuck ever. Do your best today.

How do men stand having their t-shirts so tight around their necks? It’s like having a g-rated choking fetish.

Wearing a strapless bra when you’ve got an ample bosom is not for the faint of heart.

You’ve either got an abundance of hair ties, or you’ve got none. There is no in between.

Awkward weird girls are where it’s at.

Imagine being a man on the internet explaining my job to me, when I’m over here already DOING said job, and doing it well. I don’t remember asking for advice, so you could really just shut the fuck up.

Went to a Women in Construction night at a local brewery. There were a lot of men there? But 3 guys came up and asked if I was me, and they’re guys I deal with all the time, but have never met. And I had fun with the girls. So I had two drinks and I’m happy and I feel pretty.

It’s Friday and my nipples are unruly.

My 2nd least favourite superintendent emailed letting me know that it’s FRIDAY and he wanted this wiring schematic on WEDNESDAY, and do I need help understanding my calendar. Lol. I think I might tell him yes.

I want to stay in shape, but I also want three desserts and a nap.

My biggest childhood regret is not falling into a well full of bats.

There are so many bunnies this year. A bunch live under my deck.

Just to be clear, I’m aware that rabbits fuck like rabbits. I’m saying they’ve clearly been fucking more than usual.

Good morning ☀️

Still alive but things are messy. I appreciate everyone who reached out. Had a funeral today, and it kind of messed with me, but I made friends with an 84 y/o woman and had one of the best conversations I’ve had in a while, so there’s my silver lining. Be kind today.

So here’s to 45, although I was still 44 when I took this at the beach yesterday. I’m cool with 45. Age ain’t nothing but a number, baby.