Trump should do a massive confession book where he openly admits and details every immoral and criminal act he’s ever committed. Biggest seller ever, and he can finally brag truthfully about being the absolute best at something.

So, half the country wants America to be an octagon, the other half wants it to be a daycare. Got it.

Kamala Harris has been hit with so much less slander than Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden it’s almost shocking to watch her give a joyful speech.

Bill the Billionaire owns Bob the Builder’s company. Bill makes $430 mill a year. Bob takes home $37,500, after expenses for screws and such. Don’t be a Bob. Be a Bill.

Unpacking political beliefs is not for the faint of mind.

Jimmy Carter is going to ooze to the voting booth as a puddle of gurgling slime, raise one tentacle, vote for Harris, and then seep away through the floorboards.

Trump is just an open spigot for Russian propaganda.

Trump is already an authoritarian. He rules the GOP, which is one half of the American political system. If anyone resists him in any way, he eliminates them from the party. This is the core modus operandi of all authoritarians. Total control, eradicate those who do not comply.

“Excuse me, excuse me, don’t interrupt me while I’m lying.”

“Are you going to let me finish this lie or not?”

“I’m going to give you an opportunity to lie, just wait your turn.”

Why, yes, of course I would love to hear you expound on that stupid shit you just said.

It’s not fact-checking. It’s lie-checking. Call it what it is. They're not falsehoods. They're lies. Let's get the lexicon reset, hmm, media?

I try really hard to not shit talk people, but, man, do I shit think them.

Is it too early to start screaming?

I am so sorry, but I am terrible at listening to bullshit.

Trump fires people for being honest. Let that one sink in.

Lite reminder -- you’re trapped in a series of rhetorics. Okay, go on with your day.

Dude can’t pull off getting into a truck. Real alpha male.

Autocracies only survive if they can aggressively suppress information.