Every repertoire theaters website is like, “oh you want to see showtimes for *today* ?? Ok…hold on, I have them here somewhereee…”

It’s so crazy and weird that im attracted to hot guys doing hot labor in a fun environment and being fraternal about it with their hot friends please don’t kink shame me

"I was in a Roblox ice protest but then we all got shot" is immediately a foundational phrase

Tucker really is clocking that Ted isn’t standing on business I fear

Bad news

Iktfr

Caused I’m too washed and then I’m the fucking goat

Miley stans vindication hour, run me back can’t be tamed

It’s true! No tea, they really should have hired Beau for this film—the X Men movies have genuinely had a great track record when being directed by a sex pest

I’m only happy when it rains

Was anyone there New Yorker Festival when someone in the Q&A simply just *explained* Italo Disco to Carly Rae Jepson for 10 minutes like the Chris Farley sketch

The good news for Congress: Members are living longer and they’re facing less competition, so they can stay in office longer. The bad news: More of them are dying in office.

Well doc, I’ve had better days. One of the dangerous internet perverts whose favor I intentionally curry thinks I have bad priorities