If y’all would wear your masks everywhere you go, us essential workers, that have been wearing them for our entire shifts since the very beginning, can stop wearing them sooner. Chances are, we’re more sick of them than you are. Thanks

black friday better be cancelled this year. no retail employee deserves to go through that hell while a pandemic is going on.

me passing someone: u slow bitch me being passed: ok speed racer

“what do ur tattoos mean” they mean i look cool

After having to endure this shit show of a year, we should get Vine back. We deserve it.

It’s only the 4th day of this insane semester and I’m ready to drop out. It usually takes to at least midterms before I hit this spot. It’s gonna be a long semester...

Moe: How do I write an equation if I don’t have the things to write it with? Mom: Roses are red, violets are blue, I don’t know chemistry and neither do you.

It is honestly so difficult to learn remotely. Someone is always losing connection whether it’s us or the professor. We’re truly in this together y’all.

Homer didn’t teach me anything about credit or taxes but thank God they taught us the Watermelon Crawl, am I right?

Children aren’t stupid. They are capable of comprehending a same sex couple if you teach them early on that it’s no different and that it’s not wrong. The longer you wait, the more confused they’ll be. Talk to your kids.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not learning a single thing from this semester. I’m in a constant cycle of doing enough to pass and then I’m moving on to the next class to do the same. It’s a rough time we’re in.

Am I 22 years old? Yes. Did I just stock my fridge with juice boxes? Also yes.

Some friends aren’t meant to last forever, some are just supposed to get us through a certain period of our lives and then we grow out of them. Don’t try to force someone to stay forever if they’re only meant to be seasonal.

Me greeting customers: “hey! How are you?” Customer looks at me and continues walking with no expression Me quietly under my mask: “okay dumb bitch”

It’s like super like annoying when like every other word you like say in like a 30 second like response is “like”. Y’all gotta relax with the fillers

this dog is made of coconut

How can you not love cats? They literally have mittens for feet

So you mean to tell me that I made it through the entire pandemic up until this point without getting Covid, but the week I become eligible to get the shot, I test positive. Nice